Wednesday, August 19, 2015

cutting the fat.

as i reach farther into my adult life, i am realizing that "cutting the fat" should serve as your yearly check-up at the doctors office. a chance to take a step back & revaluate the "fat" you have allowed to hang around your life for the past year. but, like your yearly checkup at the doctors office, it often starts to become a mundane task. one that we keep pushing into the back junk drawer of our lives because we don't want to deal with it anymore. 

by "cutting the fat" i'm referring to cutting out the negative things & people that are hanging around your life no longer serving a beneficial purpose to you. the end of every season is always a introspective time for me. this summer, i've had more time to do so than most. college life comes & goes like seasons (fergie quote was 100% necessary). the past two years of my life have proved that. i moved to another state, started a new job, decided on my major, changed my major, & changed my major once more. but, perhaps the biggest change has been the new people i have surrounded myself with, & the people that i have chosen to "cut" out of my life.

the latter is the hardest change to undergo. i feel as if at times we let toxic people hang around way longer than their welcomed stay because they have become an easy & comfortable routine for us. i have "cut the fat" of many things in my life in the last couple months. i moved apartments, so i "cut" out boxes of junk & clothes that were collecting dust in my room. i "cut" out a good friend who didn't view our friendship with the same level of severity as i did. (that one still stings.) however, one of the biggest "cuts" was made after i allowed someone toxic to creep back into my life for the second time because this time he proclaimed he was "changed" & "different." & that he couldn't believe he was "dumb enough" to the make some of the mistakes he had made in the past.

you can scream the words "i've changed" at the top of your lungs from a mountain top all you want. but the cold hard truth, (capital-t) about change is this; "change isn't change until something changes." this truth hit me square in the face after, i, myself, was left feeling confused & hurt for a second time. in reality he hadn't changed one bit. he was the exact same person i met almost a year ago.

you have to shut the door. no matter how hard it is, you have to "cut the fat."

& of course just as i was back to my normal self, no longer affected by his toxicity, he found his way to creep in my life again. but this time i knew better. his "i'm sorry" & "regrets" no longer held any weight with me. this time i hit the delete button. i chose to put myself first.

"cutting the fat" is just that. putting yourself first. its a necessary & sometimes mundane task, like your check-up at the doctors office. however, you deserve to be your best self, free of any "fat" that has found its way into your life.

xoxo. lauren. 

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