a day at the winery.

if this is what adulating is about, then sign me up! 

if you look up the definition of a perfect day, it would look a lot similar to these photos. i do believe that one of the most important aspects to living your best life is all about the energy, vibes & people you surround yourself with. the circle i surround myself continues to help me bloom into something fierce, & days like this help us shine so bright. 

i ran across this quote the other day, & i couldn't find a better way to describe this season of my life...

"...right now, in this present moment, in the midst of your grief, your pain, your anger, your loneliness, your frustration, your self-hatred, your feelings that feel so much bigger than you- you are ok.

this is the place where gratitude begins, where greatness begins, where our true power is found.

right here. right where we are. 

being with ourselves & allowing what is to just be. 

you are ok. you are ok. you are ok."

i hope you know wherever you are, you are ok, too. 

xoxo, lauren. 

life update at 21-years-old.

hello, long time no see! 

one day a couple weeks ago, i found myself walking to campus to work on a project i had procrastinated on at around 9 pm, almost 3 hours behind the schedule i had given for myself. my #ootd was nothing less than shameful. pajamas. no bra. the only effort i exerted upon leaving the house was making sure i had provided myself with copious amounts of caffeine.

as i looked down at my ensemble, i giggled at the thought of how appalled high-school-lauren would have been with myself. hell, even a year ago i would've cringed at the idea of going in public in anything less than real pants & a couple of dabs of mascara. 

however, lately braless ensambles have been me with my shit together. 

i don't know if i can even write about life at 21-years-old, can i? after-all, how much does a 21- year-old actually know about life? i haven't even entered in what the rest of society identifies with as the "real world," (quite frankly, i'm not on any path to rush my entrance anytime soon.) 

however, here's what i have figured out... 

they aren't joking when they say that college is "the best four years" of your life. 

 i am a completely different person than the one who pulled up to this campus on that steaming august day three years ago, with one too many pairs of heels that i would never wear. 

looking back on my years here thus far, my memory is a blur (alcohol may be a factor). the time i've spent here has flown by, but i wouldn't have it any other way. i've learned more about myself in these past three years than i could've even imagined. some good, some bad, & some equally as ugly. however, the friends & lessons that i have gained here will last with me forever. i'm headed into my final year with a full heart (& mind).

bras are optional. 

i won't go as to far as to say that i have let myself go, but i do push the snooze button a couple more times in the morning. sleep is now much more important than assembling an outfit together. at this point in my life, i can't even imagine taking the time out of my night to outfit plan on a daily basis like i used to. however this makes "putting on my face" a special occasion, as i appreciate what a couple more dabs of mascara & a good red lip can do for a gal. i joke to my friends that "i only look pretty on the weekends now." oh well. accepting that we all can't be beyoncé is a hill i've successfully conquered. 

FOMO is a real bitch. 

i don't get along with FOMO. there is nothing worse than missing out on time spent with your friends  due to other obligations, such as work or school. & if you're lucky, maybe even both (cue, sarcasm!). i am the worst when it comes to turning my friends down when they ask me to join them, because 9 times out of 10 they are usually about to embark on something way more appealing than the activity i was doing. prioritizing has never been on my list of personality strengths. i have to remember to give myself a little big nudge & whisper: "the world won't stop spinning if you sit this one out." sometimes it's good to slow down & let yourself breathe. especially if you have an exam creeping around the corner faster than anyone would like to admit. 

thank your parents. 

if you're anything like me, the college experience wouldn't even be possible without your parents. between helping me fund my college education & my weekly wal-mart runs, they have truly been the ones to make this life possible for me. as cheesy as it is, i truly don't thank them enough. while we don't necessarily always see eye-to-eye, i am old enough to realize they only want me to succeed. even if that includes spending more time at the library than at happy hour. 

whoa, that was a lot. this post wasn't supposed to have its shit together, just like my current state of being. however, it has allowed me to reflect on where i'm at & more importantly where i'd like to be. these writing sessions are so good for my soul. need to remember to do them more often. 

bra or no bra, we have no choice but to kill it. 

xoxo. lauren.

a fall afternoon.

today was straight out of a tumblr page. swinging under a tree & feeling the breeze across my face was the perfect way to recharge. my tank is full. 

xoxo. lauren. 

five ways to get the most out of your 20's.

(try to) enjoy every moment. 

let's face it. being in your twenties is not a glamorous job. thanks for the unrealistic expectations, carrie bradshaw. it's easy to get lost in our typical routines of class, minimum wage jobs, sweatpants & ramen noodles. our days start to blend together & we become blind joys that surround us on a daily basis. no matter what you're doing, try to find the bliss in everything you do. you'll feel so much more peace.

 make time for you. 

finding & creating yourself tend to be the reoccurring themes of your twenties. apparently, it should be on all of our agendas. however, it can't take place unless you consciously give yourself the time to do so. this introspective time has allowed me to know whether to change directions, switch paths, open doors, or close them. you have to find what works for you. take time to be selfish, find your niche & buy yourself some damn flowers.

be kind to everyone you meet. 

being the mean, popular girl won't get you far anymore. it won't get you a job. it won't get you friends. it won't get you a good reputation. being kind can open up so many opportunities for yourself. word travels around fast when people know you as the "nice-girl." leave each person you encounter better than when you found them, no matter how shitty you feel. it's a win-win.

 learn to love your imperfections. 

being twenty today in a society driven by social media & waves of comparison, this one can be tough. one day you'll wake up & those american eagle skinny jeans from high school may not fit just as they did at a friday night football game four years ago. but, the best part? that's okay. the world won't stop spinning if you've gained five pounds, have pimples on your face or hair that doesn't curl. it's what make you, you. each change that comes your way is molding you into the woman rockstar that you were born to be.

realize you don't have to have all the answers. 

because honestly, who does? you need to fall down & make mistakes in order for you to discover what works for you. we wouldn't figure out how to "do life" any other way. the best thing about this time in your life (or any age) is the learning process you undergo on a daily basis. there are always hidden opportunities behind every failure. get excited about the mistakes you'll make & the lessons you'll learn along the way.

xoxo. lauren. 

cutting the fat.

as i reach farther into my adult life, i am realizing that "cutting the fat" should serve as your yearly check-up at the doctors office. a chance to take a step back & revaluate the "fat" you have allowed to hang around your life for the past year. but, like your yearly checkup at the doctors office, it often starts to become a mundane task. one that we keep pushing into the back junk drawer of our lives because we don't want to deal with it anymore. 

by "cutting the fat" i'm referring to cutting out the negative things & people that are hanging around your life no longer serving a beneficial purpose to you. the end of every season is always a introspective time for me. this summer, i've had more time to do so than most. college life comes & goes like seasons (fergie quote was 100% necessary). the past two years of my life have proved that. i moved to another state, started a new job, decided on my major, changed my major, & changed my major once more. but, perhaps the biggest change has been the new people i have surrounded myself with, & the people that i have chosen to "cut" out of my life.

the latter is the hardest change to undergo. i feel as if at times we let toxic people hang around way longer than their welcomed stay because they have become an easy & comfortable routine for us. i have "cut the fat" of many things in my life in the last couple months. i moved apartments, so i "cut" out boxes of junk & clothes that were collecting dust in my room. i "cut" out a good friend who didn't view our friendship with the same level of severity as i did. (that one still stings.) however, one of the biggest "cuts" was made after i allowed someone toxic to creep back into my life for the second time because this time he proclaimed he was "changed" & "different." & that he couldn't believe he was "dumb enough" to the make some of the mistakes he had made in the past.

you can scream the words "i've changed" at the top of your lungs from a mountain top all you want. but the cold hard truth, (capital-t) about change is this; "change isn't change until something changes." this truth hit me square in the face after, i, myself, was left feeling confused & hurt for a second time. in reality he hadn't changed one bit. he was the exact same person i met almost a year ago.

you have to shut the door. no matter how hard it is, you have to "cut the fat."

& of course just as i was back to my normal self, no longer affected by his toxicity, he found his way to creep in my life again. but this time i knew better. his "i'm sorry" & "regrets" no longer held any weight with me. this time i hit the delete button. i chose to put myself first.

"cutting the fat" is just that. putting yourself first. its a necessary & sometimes mundane task, like your check-up at the doctors office. however, you deserve to be your best self, free of any "fat" that has found its way into your life.

xoxo. lauren. 

4 from the 4th.

my favorite weekend of the year has came & went. to me, nothing beats the 4th of july. friends, food, & fireworks. i spent the majority of the weekend indoors working. however, i was still able to enjoy not one, but two firework shows! one which was the best one of my life. so close & so sparkly. bring on the rest of summer! 

xoxo. lauren.

recipe for adulthood.

one of my goals for this year was to get my feet wet in the kitchen. i'm happy to report that my efforts have been pretty successful thus far. of course, i've hit a few bumps in the road. for example, my italian meatballs ended up being more like italian mush. (never underestimate the power of bread crumbs.) i've also spent an obnoxious amount of time wandering around grocery stores trying to find specific ingredients off my recipes. i think i have every grocery store in this town memorized by now. i've found a majority of my recipes on pinterest. its mind boggling to think of how people lived without that gold mine of inspiration.

here are some pics from the first three attempts: 

  homemade spaghetti sauce

beef pot roast

spaghetti carbonara

i'm realizing there's a lot more to being an adult than learning how to cook, but here's what i've learned about life from my short time in the kitchen thus far: 

1) changes start to happen in your life when your get shit done

2) know your weakness & play on your strengths 

3) you can decide which rules (& recipes) you break, just be prepared for the consequences 

4) you stop overfilling the trash can when you have to start emptying it. 

if you have any favorite recipes, please feel free to send them my way! 

xoxo, lauren

keep not settling.

my mother visited me at school a couple of weeks ago, & she said something to me on our lunch date that has been in the back of my head ever since. 

"you settle for the b, when you know you can get the a."

i realized that this statement applies to all areas of my life.

i settle with my grades & accept them, even when i know i can do better. i settle with relationships & accept treatment that i don't deserve. i settle with my job. i settle with my faith. i settle with my body. settle. settle. settle.

this isn't where i want to be.

let's face it, giving your all, 100%, everyday is a damn hard job. it's exhausting. but, when i look to where i want to be in five years, i know i'm not going to get there by being average. you've got to bust your ass in your professional life & your personal life to maintain above a 70% in your life outcomes.

i don't want this to sound like i drag my feet in everything i do. but, i think my problem lies in staying motivated. i get these big gusts of motivation that only stay with me for a couple weeks & then i unfortunately go back to my half-assing ways. 

this got me thinking. how can i keep my gusts of motivation to stay with me for the long run? 

remind yourself of your short term goals & your long term goals. write them out. sing them out. dance them out. just get them out.

keep yourself moving, some hard work is only temporary. 

reward yourself for accomplishing your goals. have your eyes been glued to a pair of shoes? buy them (within reason). 

let your mistakes be your biggest motivators. finding out the correct way to do things gets me that much more excited to get it done right the second time around. 

you can silently shout a big "f-you" to people who tell you you can't do something. if there's one thing you don't need, it's negative energy. 

you will never get what you don't ask for.

i'm letting this serve as my reminder that i don't have to settle in any area of my life. i don't want to be a settler & therefore, i'm not going to be a settler. i have the strength & ability to keep pushing myself until my goals are reached to the high standards i give myself. 

you do too.

xoxo. lauren. 

two thousand fifteen goals.

2014 was the year of the horse according to the chinese zodiac calendar & i'm certainly not going to argue with them. it moved swiftly & i'll admit at times i had a hard time keeping up. many areas of my life changed & this year hit me with just as many lessons. i'm grateful for every second of it.

i've decided i need to put my focus on these areas this year:

plan to plan.

i've never had a problem getting my list of to-do's done. in great timing, though? not so much. my goal is to up my planning skills in the upcoming year. i won't have that much free time to spare in between work & school. the spare time i do have, i want to be spent doing the things i enjoy. (friends, blogging, etc.) i need to put myself on a stricter schedule & hold myself accountable for the deadlines i am given or that i give myself.

look ahead.

i have written about struggling with enjoying the moment & living in the present before. this year i want to make a conscious effort about putting my energy in the present & not wasting it worrying about the past. it's hard to forget about the should'ves, could'ves, would'ves that cloud our minds on a daily basis.  i need to understand that everything that happens in my life will ultimaetly lead me to the place i need to be. i have to remember that the ships of the past have sailed & the only thing i can do is wave goodbye from the dock.

take care.

taking care of your physical & emotional self takes a lot of work. sometimes this can take a backseat with the hustle & bustle of life. i want to make healthier decisions for myself. i want to make dates with the gym a permanent part of my weekly schedule. i want to learn how to cook actual meals for myself & really focus on getting in my fruits & veggies. my car recently got some sort of the flu, (i don't speak car) & i realized i'm not financially prepared for these kinds of unexpected moments. i want to better budget my money & ask myself, do i want it, need it, or gotta have it. i also want to grow in my faith & have that be the number one force that drives my life.

be present. 

i've noticed i get caught up in the world on the internet way too often & i miss the one that is right in front of me. social media has taken an embarrassing priority in my life & i'm not pleased about it. i want to say yes more to social hangouts with friends. i want to silence my phone & truly enjoy the moments i share with people who mean the most to me.

2014 left us as quickly as it came. it had some really great moments with some really bad moments in-between. i think that's what we can expect from every year, though. i love the clean slate that a new year can bring. i'm excited to see where this year will take me.

xoxo. lauren.

seasons of life.

with another season of my young adult life under my belt, i can't help but notice how many (needed) lessons god has thrown my way this semester. i just arrived home in wisconsin for a couple days for the holidays, & i've had some time to reflect on the whirlwind of a couple months that just took place.

so far, so good on the apartment front. i've managed to not set the place or myself on fire. i still don't know how to cook, therefore i'm quite hungry most of the time. my meals consist of frozen smart one dinners & a fair share of mediocre sandwiches. i'm so bad of a cook that i mixed the seasoning & water in a separate bowl when i made tacos for the first time…. yeah, i'm still embarrassed as i type that out three months later. i don't think i can consider myself an adult until i can turn a frozen chicken breast into an edible one. every time i head to the grocery store i think to myself, "yeah, this is the week i'm gong to start cooking." i buy an excessive amount of ingredients for just myself & the meals i think i'm going to make. my success rate of completing these meals is at 0%. sadly, my roommates are getting used to my moldy food taking up space in our fridge. "who's nasty cheese is this..?! it's been here for weeks." "it's probably lauren's." yes, there's a 100% chance it is. this is a reminder of the excess i carry around in my life. less will always be more.

i like to consider myself half & half on the introverted/extroverted scale. i love my social life, but i love my alone time a tad bit more. so, much to my surprise i've throughly enjoyed sharing my living space with my roommates. we've made it through half of our time together with minimal drama (you can't put five girls in a four bedroom apartment & expect it to be sunshine & roses). coming home after a long day to woman you feel comfortable telling anything to, is something that i've come to love & i'm sure will miss once our time comes to an end. we've shared some hilarious moments & some not so laughable ones, but i'm so glad i have them along my side as we go through some of the same seasons in our lives. i'm confident in saying that they are the reason i love my time at college so much. it's so heartwarming to know that my friends who were strangers a year ago, have turned into my second family.

somehow i finished my third semester of college. "the best years" of my life are going by at lightening speed. i'm at peace with this though, because that means that exams are almost a thing of the past & soon i'll be kicking ass at my dream job. i didn't finish as strong as i would've liked, but i'm using that as fuel for second semester's fire. falling behind & procrastinating are things i'm very good at. luckily, i've always been able to finish what i need to even if it's at 11:58, a minute before the dropbox closes at 11:59. i'm not going to start advocating procrastination because it adds way more stress to my life than there needs to be, but so far it hasn't completely failed me. my goal for next semester is to be way more organized & to put the complimentary school planner to good use. i want my sunday nights to be filled with church & netflix. starting your week off with hours of homework is just way too depressing. why i continue to torture myself with it is something i'll never understand.

as you can see, i've taken an embarrassing leave of absence from this blog. i let school, work, & life become top three in my life & the free time i did have was spent doing absolutely nothing. i've missed writing & connecting with ya'll. i'm hoping to use winter break as a chance to recharge & get re-inspired in my little corner of the internet. stay tuned for lots of catch up posts!

i hope this finds you curled up on the couch at your own home, enjoying the holiday season & cherishing your loved ones. i'm off to do the same. 

xoxo. lauren.

instagram ketchup.

here's what my life has looked like lately on instagram. it's prettier with a filter.

xoxo. lauren.

learning process.

^^ god rocks, ya'll. passed this on my way home from class & noticed it when i needed it the most. ^^

i haven't been here as much as i've liked & i've been itching to get a writing session out. bare with me, here. school has been in session for about a month now, & over the three month long summer break i seemed to have forgotten how it works. i've come to the realization that i took not having a job & naps on the futon for granted last year. (i've only napped twice, so far. what?!?) nothing is more of a slap in the face than being on your own. i need to work five days a week in order to afford my life, & the other two days are now filled with appointments & new found grown up duties. also came to another realization that this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life.

i'm currently struggling with how to "do" my new chapter. balance is key, they say. & i myself don't know how to balance. there aren't enough hours in the day to do school, work, & life in general. learning how to prioritize what i have to do to get it all done is my new challenge & so far i've failed. i'll be a little dramatic & say i feel like i'm drowning. i'm up to my knees in homework & when i come home from work all i really want to do is sleep & watch sherlock (my current obsession). i think my key to having a balance is going to be sacrifice. i'm not going to get to watch sherlock every night & i'm not going to get to go to every activity my friends partake in like i want to. my new reality is that i have no choice but to do homework after work & the world isn't going to end when i miss out on things. i've got to start holding myself accountable & kick my to-do list's ass every. single. day.

i've been making a conscious effort to attend church every sunday morning, & i've been amazed at the result. i feel so much more grounded & centered after i leave. it's the kick i need to set my week off on the right note. i've learned that on the other side of all the curveballs life is throwing at me, god is always going to be there. my faith is the one thing i can't afford to loose.

one wise soul i used to know said this about how to tackle life's valleys and peaks. using this as my new battle plan & life mantra: 

"the way i go about any type of challenge, no matter how big or small: i break it down into
small parts that i can manage without being overwhelmed. it’s a continually evolving process, since every challenge is different, and i have to adapt to unexpected changes. i’m lucky that i enjoy observing details and fixing things (it’s the “enginerd” in me). after all, life is a continual progression of challenges, so if you can find pleasure in actively overcoming each one, you’ll have an unending supply of opportunities to experience the satisfaction of a job well-done." 

i'm not always going to have it together, life is a process. leaning that, that's okay though.
xoxo. lauren. 

five important truths i learned this summer.

you have to work for what you want. 

this ones a real downer: nothing will come easy in this life of ours. thankful my parents set this example up for me ever since i was a little girl. but, living under their roof for the last eighteen years of my life, i haven't really been left to fend for myself all that much. man, have times changed folks. i'll be living in my very own apartment this year & paying my very own bills for the first time in my life. i've never been good with my finances, i'll be the first to admit that. i tend to see things in the moment when it comes to my money. for example: this shirt looks super cute right now. i need this shirt right now. today i have to see it like this: this shirt looks cute now, but it won't look cute in two weeks when you don't have any money to make yourself some dinner. i learned that money does in fact look better in the bank. it's been rewarding watching my savings account grow for the first time in my life. spending more time working & making money doesn't suck all that much when you realize you actually have money to do the things you want. & the best part? you earned it yourself.

fill your life with positives.

i'm talking about positive people, positive environments, & positive attitudes. i think this truth finds itself forgotten about because most of the time we don't believe we have a way out. it's almost like we think we're stuck in the job we hate, or the relationship that you know there is no future to build on, or people that you find slowly starting to bring you down. this summer i realized many times this isn't the case. if you're not doing something that brings positive outcomes in your life, cut your losses & move on. there are so many other people & opportunites that will do nothing but make you better & lift you up. it's our job to keep looking until we find them.

take a nap when you're tired.

this one might actually be the most important truth of them all. i spent many late nights working this summer & because of that my body never found itself a regular sleep schedule. i also started to donate plasma to help sustain my (lack of) college student budget & i found myself feeling nothing but drained afterwards. i'm a very strong advocate for power naps. sometimes you need to lay down, put your phone on silent, & recharge your body for twenty minutes. you'll wake up feeling refreshed & ready to tackle the rest of your day. only allow yourself twenty minutes, though. anything longer than that you'll be late for work & even more exhausted than when you laid down in the first place.

enjoy the moment.

i struggle with this truth a lot. i've never been one to be able to just sit & enjoy what is happening in my life today. my mind likes to do this thing where she goes to worrying about tomorrow, & the day after that. i've been more conscious about working on this & when i actually allow myself to enjoy the sun that is shining now, i feel so much peace. as my grandmother's alzheimer's is starting progress itself daily, i've seen that this truth is actually so important. when we go to get ice cream she's as happy as can be. we know she will forget about our treat a couple hours later, but in that moment with a spoon in her hand she is so delighted. you've got to focus on & picture that bowl of carmel cashew in every aspect of your life.

be your own best friend.

i don't mean for this truth to sound selfish. but when it comes to taking care of yourself i believe there is no choice but to be. a lot of people my age aren't in tune to their own bodies. they don't know what their minds need. it took me awhile, but i know myself more than anyone else in my life. this comes with treating yourself with respect in every area of your life. respect what you put in your body & allow yourself a couple days a week to strengthen yourself by staying active. respect yourself by only surrounding yourself with people who are your biggest fans. don't allow time to think negative thoughts about the people who aren't rooting for you. respect your own thoughts & know that it's okay to not have everything together at all times. have faith in something. pray to whoever you need to pray to when things aren't okay. for me, prayer has given me something to lean when things aren't crystal clear. god will always be the one constant in my life. with this truth it's vital to know you're the advocate for your own life. you have the power to decide where you go & how you'll handle the unexpected moments when they come your way.

it's no secret i don't have everything figured out. i've got so much left to learn in this life of mine. but one thing i know for sure is that there will always be truths that sneak their way to us when we need them the most. some will be nice & easy. others, not so much. both kinds of truths are necessary & will always leave us stronger than before. there will be many more truths that will work their way into my life someday, but i know the future holds things that are too incredible to even picture right now. i'm so ready to see what the universe will throw at me as i enter the next chapter of my life!

i'm headed to bed with a grateful heart.

 xoxo. lauren. 

you can catch me at the lake.

a couple days last week were spent up at my friend's cabin in the middle of northern wisconsin. i'm a self proclaimed city girl. i love the hustle & bustle that comes along with them. but, deep down in my heart there will always be a spot for the country life that i think only wisconsin can offer.

 ^^ antique stores & candy stores will forever be in by top ten. ^^

we spent the days lounging by the lake & enjoying the sun. this has got to be my favorite summer activity. life seems to slow down a bit & you really do appreciate the little things that otherwise seem to go unnoticed (i.e: that slight breeze that keeps your face from melting off of your body.) 

we also ventured into town for a little bit & explored some of the cute boutiques. i could spend hours in shops like these. i stare at all of the little knick-knacs that are ridiculously over priced, but also have so much character that you can (almost) justify spending money on them. & i obviously stocked up on some salt water taffy. i won't lie & tell you i still have some left. because, hello! soooo good.

^^ a forever friend. ^^

so thankful for the gracious hospitality from her family. here's to hoping the cabin vibes stay with me for the rest of this summer season.
xoxo. lauren.