Friday, September 19, 2014

learning process.

^^ god rocks, ya'll. passed this on my way home from class & noticed it when i needed it the most. ^^

i haven't been here as much as i've liked & i've been itching to get a writing session out. bare with me, here. school has been in session for about a month now, & over the three month long summer break i seemed to have forgotten how it works. i've come to the realization that i took not having a job & naps on the futon for granted last year. (i've only napped twice, so far. what?!?) nothing is more of a slap in the face than being on your own. i need to work five days a week in order to afford my life, & the other two days are now filled with appointments & new found grown up duties. also came to another realization that this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life.

i'm currently struggling with how to "do" my new chapterbalance is key, they say. & i myself don't know how to balance. there aren't enough hours in the day to do school, work, & life in general. learning how to prioritize what i have to do to get it all done is my new challenge & so far i've failed. i'll be a little dramatic & say i feel like i'm drowning. i'm up to my knees in homework & when i come home from work all i really want to do is sleep & watch sherlock (my current obsession). i think my key to having a balance is going to be sacrifice. i'm not going to get to watch sherlock every night & i'm not going to get to go to every activity my friends partake in like i want to. my new reality is that i have no choice but to do homework after work & the world isn't going to end when i miss out on things. i've got to start holding myself accountable & kick my to-do list's ass every. single. day.

i've been making a conscious effort to attend church every sunday morning, & i've been amazed at the result. i feel so much more grounded & centered after i leave. it's the kick i need to set my week off on the right note. i've learned that on the other side of all the curveballs life is throwing at me, god is always going to be there. my faith is the one thing i can't afford to loose.

one wise soul i used to know said this about how to tackle life's valleys and peaks. using this as my new battle plan & life mantra: 

"the way i go about any type of challenge, no matter how big or small: i break it down into
small parts that i can manage without being overwhelmed. it’s a continually evolving process, since every challenge is different, and i have to adapt to unexpected changes. i’m lucky that i enjoy observing details and fixing things (it’s the “enginerd” in me). after all, life is a continual progression of challenges, so if you can find pleasure in actively overcoming each one, you’ll have an unending supply of opportunities to experience the satisfaction of a job well-done." 

i'm not always going to have it together, life is a process. leaning that, that's okay though.
xoxo. lauren. 

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