sorry in advance for my scrambled thoughts. this post is going to be a direct reflection of where my mind has been at lately. which is everywhere. my mind hasn't stopped running in circles the last couple days & therefore i'm exhausted. today has been a not so good day. do you ever have those days where nothing seems to go right? it's raining out, you get your period in church, (gross, i know), your job is driving you insane, you start to cry in the middle of the bathroom & you can't even tell yourself a reason why? i'm talking big, loud, ugly cry? just me? okay.
^^ i've never been a bike rider. but, with a bike like this i might start. so cute. ^^
i've been trying to figure out the best way to stay in a (somewhat) constant state of bliss for awhile now. i have really good stretches of good days & then a few bad ones here & there. i've noticed the good days happen when i'm with friends & family, staying busy, etc. bad days happen when i find myself feeling kinda alone. (which i know i'm not, i've got a great team of people standing behind me.) when i feel alone & just kinda blah, really, i start to over analyze & over think everything. & i mean everything. from the next color i want to paint my nails to past relationships & broken hearts. it seems my problem is living in the past or the future. my mind wanders often & draws up these big, dramatic scenarios & i always end up disappointed when life doesn't play out like the scenario i made up in my head. i guess i just don't know how to stop feeling disappointed from my failed day dreams. or, if i should stop wishing & dreaming all together.
today, today, today. this needs to start being number one on my radar. i've got to focus & invest more time into bettering myself from the minute i wake up. i believe being happy & in a state of bliss is choice. it's a choice i want to make. it's a choice i have to make. no more rainy days = rainy moods around here.
wow. sorry for all that complaining & rambling. i really am blessed. life really is good. i'm glad i have friends who get ice cream with me at a moments notice & swing on the swings at the park like we did when we were 7. swinging has turned into a workout, though. i do not remember being somewhat out of breath from trying to swing higher than the bar. it's amazing to see how many things have changed but have also stayed the same as well.
^^ nothing beats a malt on a rainy day.
nothing. ^^
i guess that it's life though, huh? not every day can be good. but i've got to work harder in finding the good in everyday. how do you get through rainy days & find your bliss?
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